I sit down at the start of a….period of time….with all intents and purposes to participate in certain writing adventures. I very much enjoy writing. It’s a release and a drug for me. But as often happens with things I profess to love over recent years, I don’t spend the time I SHOULD on it. I have all sorts of excuses, but I just feel like I’m being lazy.
I intended to participate in this year’s A to Z Challenge. I had a list started of the things I was going to write about – starting with A (All About Allison/AngelGal) and B (it was going to be about what Boy Scouts means to us as a family.).
As you can see, that went no where fast.
I sat down multiple times to start with that first post. I wrote a title, I wrote things about me, I pondered for days what I should list….and came up VERY short.
For one, I kept hearing my mom’s words ringing in my head, about how anything you put out there is forever, and about how you shouldn’t put all of your stuff out there, people can track it and use it. I hardly ever put out my full name because of that (I hope few people know my middle name), but really when it comes to my identity being stolen, I’m not that worried. In fact, the very idea makes me chuckle, because – really, if someone wants to steal my identity, with my credit history, that jokes on them (just a warning for ya, if you were thinking of doing it). Unless you put more energy into the credit repair sites than I have (another example of my laziness, procrastination, and good intentions. I could give you a list), then you’re in for lots of rejections. Sometimes, at least for fraudsters, I think it’s better that way. Not for me tho. Wasn’t always that way, I had a good credit score. Once. A LOOOOOONG time ago.
For another, I really don’t want to put a lot of my life out there. Maintain the mystery, for one thing. For another, I do have a divorce coming up (no surprise, that or Dating was going to be D. Probably coming clean about my marriage and my divorce. Which brings me back to….), and I really don’t want to put a lot of things that might be used against me (somehow, I don’t know, people are crafty, especially lawyers) in that situation. I really don’t want to hurt his feelings either. I mean, just because I made this decision to be happy doesn’t mean I don’t care about those around me, and the others involved. In fact, that the chief reason it took me so long to make that decision.
But I digress, I didn’t mean to argue my case for that decision.
I’m not sure 100% what my intention was to sit down and write this. Probably to apologize (I have to ask, to whom?) about not participating in the challenge. I’m (really) not sure to whom I’d be apologizing, tho my blog did experience an uptick in visits shortly after my last post.
I really do want to post more. I want to write more. My biggest (and, always, in my opinion lamest) excuse is that I don’t have the time. I’m always working, or sleeping, or letting off steam from working.
This is my birthday weekend. By virtue of it being Memorial Day weekend as well, I’ve got an extra day for my weekend, I didn’t sign up to work that day (I work at a call center, and not unreasonably, they do expect people to call in). I feel like I have room to breathe. I didn’t have to (and didn’t) sleep in, because I’ll be able to on Monday as well. I can take my time going to get my nails done (one of my little birthday celebrations). I’m spreading out what I’m doing special for my birthday because it’s going to be one long, lazy afternoon.
We have weather coming. There’s a Tornado Watch. Third week in a row. Never have I been in that situation before living here. And now I live in a trailer. But, I love the weather. It’s nice that I get to watch all of this.
Off to get my nails done. I will be back, hopefully with lots of nice writing.