Piano Man – Friday Fictioneers – 6/14/13

In my desire to work on my writing, I’m looking for all the prompts and challenges I can find, to get used to deadlines and just writing, period. On a few blogs, I saw mention of Friday Fictioneers and decided to look it up and probably join in. And I did. It’s more short short fiction, and I really enjoy the work it takes to make a story fit into a short amount of space. Here’s my entry for this week’s, following the picture.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
Photo courtesy of John Nixon (also a participant)

Quick note – I have a hard time trying to figure out titles, but I have to admit – the title of the picture works best here.

Piano Man

She looked at her piece and smiled. With her father’s help, she delivered it to the music festival for the local opening band whose manager had called and told her they wanted it. She could feel the money in her pocket, but it wasn’t all that weighed on her.

Standing stage-side she remembered being in the crowd with Jonah, holding his delicate musician’s hands, dancing – the memory of him saying her name was the strongest.

“Rebecca? Rebecca? REBECCA!” The tap on her shoulder brought her back to the present.

She turned and all she saw was the smile pulling up his surprised face.

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21 comments

  1. what a memorable event for Rebecca, especially since it included her father. ♥ just wondering about your last sentence…was it her father’s surprised face?
    thank you, i enjoyed your story. ☺

    • No…I suppose I could have used just a few more words – but it was a boy she fell in love with at a music festival….the picture/art piece was inspired by the boy, the boy is who she was thinking about when she was looking into the crowd, and the boy, who is a member of the band that wanted the piece (tho he didn’t know it was her that made it, it was a collective decision and the manager’s the only one who saw the name, and wouldn’t have made a connection), is the one who tapped on her shoulder, since her dad had helped her bring the piece and went back to the car. A lot I couldn’t put in the piece.

      • okay, now i understand and with only 100 words, you did create the memorable event well. i just was confused at the end. glad you explained it. ☺

    • In the longer (non-edited to fit the word count) version, it refers to the piano, but i thought that was kind of self evident considering I was drawing from a picture, LOL!

  2. Welcome, Allison. Saw you on my blog just recently. 🙂 You’ll love FF and it’s a great way to improve your writing. I did figure the tapping person was the guy she’s was thinking about, so that got through, at least to me. The 100-word limit really works you, doesn’t it?

    In the last line, I think you’re missing a word. I think ” all she was the smile” is probably meant to be “all she saw was the smile.” (And you’re allowed to back and edit. 🙂

    janet

    • It’s good I can go back and edit 😀 I will take care of that. I’m kind of used to the 100 word limit, as I’ve been doing Velvet Verbosity’s 100 Word Challenge for a couple years, off and on (mostly off lately, unfortunately, but I’m working to rectify that). I’ve found I have a love of short short/flash fictions, and I look forward to doing more FF 🙂 Love the title of your blog, btw 🙂

      • Thanks. When I first started my blog, I didn’t really realize that I had to have a name. I got through most of the steps and almost funked it when they asked for a name, but chose this one. Turns out there are zillions of others with the same name, but that’s OK. If you’re like me, you’ll be addicted to FF, but it’s a good addiction (except for all the time to read the other stories!!)

        janet

      • That is funny – I’ve never discovered one quite like mine, and there are 3 versions (well, multiple as I always use it, for just about anything, not just blogs, but blogs there are 3) – Blogger (the original), here, and tumblr.

      • Ahh, but yours is much more unusual than mine. However, mine fits what I do–a combination of photos, fictional writing, poetry, musing about things and whatever else might come up. So I’m happy with it. And glad you like it!

  3. Alison! A nice take on the prompt. Rebecca’s excitment well presented. Like Janet (sustainabilitea) I was pulled up by the missing word in the last line. The 100 word limit is great as a target of aspiration, but I don’t think you need to be rigid about it. My effort this week is the first time in 5 weeks I’ve managed to come in on 100.

    • I’m rather practiced, I think, at doing the 100, having done it so often with VV’s sit, it’s existence is merely an oversight (that I WILL go now and fix!)

  4. Dear Angela,

    Welcome to Friday Fictioneers. As Janet says, it’s addictive. I started a little over a year ago April when it was hosted by founder Madison Woods and you see where my addiction took me.;).
    A nice take on the prompt although I’ll admit to my confusion between boyfriend and father. I look forward to reading more from you.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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