Fear not…

I am still around, and working on various things. Life is not boring.

I am writing. I’m currently going crazy over a story for the PARSEC Science Fiction and Fantasy Short Story Contest. I PLAN on participating in Toasted Cheese’s Three Cheers and a Tiger contest later this month. I have to get back on the Velvet Verbosity 100 Word Challenge train. I try to work on prompts from Toasted Cheese’s web calendar—one of the prompts inspired me to take out a story I wrote in college, so I can type it into my laptop and start expanding on it (I have yet to do that, but…). I LOVE the process of writing—from the creation of the original story to the editing (I had a FLURRY of editing this evening on the PARSEC story), to one day hopefully the thrill of entering (again. I did once then chickened out on any others…for Toasted Cheese. Once….blah 😛 ). Next I will have to get critiques on my story. It’s due out in a month and 1 week! EEK! Better get on that!

Last year I hit a pretty low point because of a few things. The things with home life both seem to have worked themselves out some, and will forever be ongoing. The other thing that threw me for a loop has hopefully moved on to a chapter in which I no longer have to worry or hurt, but that I can live and be happy. I am so far, I just have to remember that things happen for a reason, and since life isn’t over for me yet—there is always hope. But not to hope too hard. At least right now.

I learned one thing with my mother’s passing, that has made me quite happy in some ways, and in another works into that other thing. It’s not a good idea to shun someone out of your life permanently.
– Unfortunately, that’s what happened between my mother and her sister—I did not see her sister from the time I was almost 5 to the day my mom’s body gave out.
– With my mother’s passing, a girl who had been my best friend for 13 years before I cut her out of my life for 7 contacted me through her sister, and we have been talking since (not, like, every day, but often).
– There was someone I cared a great deal for that I cut out of my life last year—but I reviewed both the instances I’ve already lived through and this one and—-holding them up to the light, I can see more facets to the lesson. Sometimes (like with my ex-ex best friend), you have to allow for that time. If I had been there through all of her trials, it would have hurt me worse than letting her go it alone (hey, I would have at least liked to have been there for her wedding!!!). Maybe that’s how it is with this other person—because right now while they are living in the situation they are in, it hurts to know they are going through it, because I care. Or maybe it just wasn’t meant to be anything, no matter how good some of it was. I don’t know. That’s not a lesson I know has been completed yet, and I’m just going to have to wait to be able to look back on it. All I know is that despite the venom I spouted for a few days last week, I still made sure to put them up in prayer at church on Sunday.
– Finally, and this one I often overlook even in my head when reviewing things, sometimes…sometimes if you put someone out of your life for a period of time, they are not going to make the choice to come back in your life when/if you do extend the offer. Yes, that has happened to. I’m good with that one, because I guess I came to terms with it a long time ago. She never really was THAT interested in being my friend….

Oh well. I’ve got a lot of great friends who have helped me through a lot over the years, cheer me on when things are going well or I am being authentic, and point out to me when I’m being a total douche or a total tool. 🙂 I LOVE my friends!

I’m knitting too. Currently I’m working on the shawl using the patterns from Knitted Lace Triangles that I used for the shawl my mom will wear for eternity (damn it, they put it on wrong! Oh well, it still looks beautiful!). I’ve messed it up several times and restarted it, but I have until July. Also, I’ve got purse kits that have been sitting collecting dust. I’m stopped where I did before with the first one, but I do plan to go back! I just love the lace triangle patterns so much!

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