Now, it’s numb…

The way I feel at least. And a bit tired. And I’ve had a headache just over my left eye for most of the last 24+ hours. The only time it goes away is if I take Ibuprofen. Which I do every time I realize it hurts.

The landlord was here, he just didn’t come inside. I don’t know whether he intended to or not. I guess he was just mainly taking care of that heater upstairs—he’s been supposed to be replacing it since last year, I guess that’s what he was doing.

We went to look at the apartment that sorta really spurred me along to looking for a place. It’s my friend’s apartment, from my American Constitutional Law class—with talking to her, I decided it was time to really look at Student Rentals for possibilities. We have an appointment to look at another place, this one near the fire hall, on Saturday. I’m not sure if I would be happy so close to the fire hall, but it’s $495, where as my friend’s landlord would be charging $600. I don’t think it’s really worth that. Maybe the $500 she’s paying, but not really $600. And how would we be able to swing that? I don’t know. I kinda liked her apartment. It did have some sorta nice bedrooms. I’m sick of rugs though. And other than the bathroom and the kitchen, it was all rug. I liked the living room, it was kinda big, and the room off it. I can imagine how we’d situate things if we were to live there—some storage up in the closets, at least the one we’d use as P’s room. I’m not sure where the “garage” stuff would go, other than either at my dad’s or in a storage place. That living room is pretty much big enough that we could keep P’s toys, that and the computer room. I’d probably still feel stuffed. But we’d be off a main highway.

Speaking of my parents’ place though—my dad would be willing to let us take over the payments on their house. It would have to be next month. And dad would have to find himself a place. And we’d have to weed a lot of stuff from both places. But I’d have that garage to store stuff in, even if just for a little bit. D wouldn’t be crazy about the idea, she wants to stay here in town. I’d like to, too, it would be easier in some ways on the pocket book.

My sister also said she’d ask her landlord if he has any places down here. That might be nice, who knows?

But, yeah, other than that headache, now I just feel numb. I’m kinda sad, because I was thinking earlier that the only area I feel successful in is school. I told my mom that, and she said “yeah, because it’s the only thing you can control.” That and my writing…it always gets good reviews 😀 Now if only I could SUBMIT stuff.

And when I was walking by the day care director’s office door on my way to my second class today (if I go up the elevator just outside that door, it comes right on the classroom for my Ethics class), I overheard her talking to someone on the phone. That she told she’s going to be at a conference for the next 2 days, but she’d give them her cell phone so they could talk about “Allison”. It made me wonder. Should I worry? Are there other Allison’s she’d be talking about? I think I might have seen one volunteer whose name is Allison, and she could always be giving a reference….but it still makes me wonder. 😦

I just feel empty. Numb. Lost. Worried. Responsible. Sad.

I want out of here so bad. And I feel like we’re in this big hole, and I’m the only one who thinks there’s a problem with that fact, I’m the only one who wants to get out, and I’m the only one who thinks we should do something about it.

So tired…..


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