Wednesday—the hump on my back in the middle of the week..

Not much to talk about. I’m sure I can find something, though.

Yesterday was MOPS. It went well.

I think I’m coming down with something, again, as is P. Lots of sneezing on my part, and he’s stuffed up and has something of a cough when his nasal decongestant has worn off. I’m also a bit concerned that he might have an ear infection, since he’s been pulling his ear, his right especially—but it only gets red after he’s pulled it, and the silly fellow likes to pull on his ears. He even uses his little toes sometimes. I have strange children.

I’ve decided today I’m going to fast. The only thing I will consume is tea. It’s not going to be easy, I know that. But I’m so very SICK OF FOOD. It makes me feel ill. The sheer volume of all that I’ve ever put in my body, compounded with how half of that makes me feel, compounded with the fact that there’s hardly any funds FOR food half the time around here….makes me a very unhappy lady.

I’m starting to think I should sit in the rocking chair we have in our living room–at the risk of looking like my grandmother. You DON’T know (I was going to say “you know, like…” There is potentially only one person who would know exactly what I’m talking about, maybe two, but I don’t know how often they visit my blog, so, really, you wouldn’t know because you’re not part of my family.). See, my grandma has always had either a rocking chair or recliner that she’s sat in, and knitted her heart out. Of course, she’d get up and do housework, but when I started looking over at the rocking chair (which, by the way, we got from my grandparents when we moved into our first apartment. We got a LOT of things from my grandparents why back then, but I’m pretty sure this is the only thing that has lasted this long. Over 12 1/2 years. That’s not counting my nightstand, which I also got from my grandparents, but many years before I even considered the possibility of joining the Army, so long before it was even possible for me to meet T.), the first thought that popped into my head was all those years of visiting my grandparents and seeing my grandma in her rocking chair. And noting that even now she’s a rather thin lady. No lounging around for her. No. She hardly ever eats, and she kept a pretty clean home. Now that I ponder the chair further…well, there’s the fact that she’s from a totally different generation (Grandma and Grandpa are from the Greatest Generation), but also, maybe the woman passed the rocking chair on to me for a reason. Maybe there’s a secret in it. Because, you know, I wouldn’t be able to sit in it long. Not comfortably. And there in lies the possible secret. To get up and move my behind, doing things instead of just sitting and knitting/crocheting all day. Which is what I do nearly all the time, when I’m not laying down on the couch because my back hurts (which, I’ll again make a note that I think SITTING on the couch does not help my back in it’s present condition and may have even contributed to putting it in this place…or putting it out of place, ha ha…in the first place), reading, or sleeping, or waddling around looking pathetic, or sitting here reading blogs, typing incoherently, and playing on Pogo.com. That, my friends, is the extent of my day. Not the pleasant, God fearing, God sharing time I’d like. Sitting on the couch, watching my little guy, reading a book or doing a project. Yup, what a wonderful life.

Nice movie though.

Speaking of movies, have you ever wondered what it would be like to be in the jury room of Twelve Angry Men? Me neither. Despite that, I might get my non-wish. I got a summons in the mail the other day, and I’ve been selected for jury duty. Woo hoo. I’m going to look into getting a postponement, if they don’t mind waiting until August for me. I need it to be August because that’s when T’s dad is coming out here for vacation, and thus that’s when T’s arranged his vacation for. I’ll have to ask him about it, to make sure it’s okay. I’ve got a week before I can’t call and try for the postponement. If T says no, then I’ll look into the friend who watched P while we did our taxes, to watch P while I’m at least there for the jury selection. Oh I hope I don’t have to—though you know (or maybe you don’t, since I try not to get too indepth here), it’s not something I’d have a problem with. Just right now it’s a bit difficult for me to be away from home for a period of time longer than an hour or two. Can’t stay away from my baby that long. The mommy in me just won’t allow it.

It is not easy to quiet my stomach. But something has to pull me out of this fog I’ve been in for so long. I want to get back to being a moving mommy again. I really enjoyed the month or so we were walking a lot, last year. It was just plain fun. And it felt good. So why don’t I do it now? I’m a lazy sow, that’s why. But I love to exercise. Right down to the arm curls I used to do at the gym, back before I got in the Army. And those nasty lifty thingies….this contraption where there were these pads at the end of “arms” that I had to squat and stand, lifting it…ugh. What I wouldn’t give to take back the last 10+ years of slothitude, and be a thinner me again. Or just take back the decision to take Depo Provera.

*sigh*

A lot more than I thought I’d chat about. I’ll be going in shortly and writing in my journal, too. Yeah, I started back up with that. Because there are just some things that I need to talk about, and I don’t want to hack at you about it.

I think this tea is helping me keep from eating some. At least I hope so. Feeling a little…weird, but not lightheaded as might be expected when one fasts.

I’d love pizza now though. No go, but I’d love it.

Gotta go over money soon. Might be my next thing. 😐

Take care.

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