Ending Sunday in Solitude

Today was a long day. I got up at roughly 7, an hour after D did to get ready for the musical at church. Then we set out to the church to watch the second and third performance. She did pretty good. She was a cameraperson—it was a play called Christmas Crosstalk. Basically a talk show where they discuss Christmas and the debate about whether it means something or if it’s all just commercial. Of course you know what side must be the winning one in the play, since it’s in a church 🙂 We had to get her current best friend from school because she had invited her, and as usual ended up getting there just almost a bit late. We stayed on through the last performance because—well, because we had to since she was there, and because my dad came to watch. Then we went to see my mom after all the requisite picture taking, then we dropped off her friend, went to WalMart, then I got the fun of doing the Penny Savers. By the time I got done with what I consider the first part, I realized there was no real good reason to keep it up on my own. Half the time I was pulling the sled full of Penny Savers on the ground, the other half I was having to be careful over what ice was left on the ground. The good thing is that even though it was a constant drizzle, it wasn’t so bad that it was icy the whole time. I didn’t even see any black ice until I was almost done, and then we were just about home.

There’s a lady with a couple kids who lives on one of the close streets of the route. Her daughter wanted to follow mine, and at one point after the daughter had run out of the house, the mom was looking for her in their van. She saw my daughter, and asked her where her daughter was. Then a bit later her daughter showed up, and started walking with my daughter. My daughter told her straight away that she should go back home, but the girl said she didn’t care, that she wouldn’t be punished very severely. I was about ready to find a way to hurry up and get over to her, when the mom drove up again. She called someone a liar, I think my daughter, and then took off with her kid. I’d like to give her a piece of my mind. She had no right to call my daughter that. I heard my daughter’s reaction when her daughter showed up, and I could tell it was genuine and that she really did think the girl was back home. If I had seen her outside her house when we passed the end of the street again, I would have gone over and given her a piece of my mind. But you know what, my daughter knows that she told the truth through the whole thing, and that she wasn’t lying to her at any time. The lady’s rather stupid and is much more of a pushover than I am. Her daughter walks all over her. 😦 I’ll pray for her.

When we got home, my butt got frozen to the chair for a while. I was sore and stiff when I got up. I called my mom and a nice discussion about T’s decision for D’s punishment over her room ensued. Sometimes I’m just totally confused. Should I take mom’s criticism of my parenting as a way God let’s me know I’m not doing as I should, or should I take it with a grain of salt? It makes me feel so bad, because I try so hard with these kids, but it’s not easy for me either. And my mom has a lot to talk about….I mean, she was a good mom, but there are a lot of ways that I’m nothing like her. Plus she only gets to see and hear a little bit. Also, as for D’s yelling, she’s 11 and hormones are starting to rage. She’s having a much harder time controlling her temper than I am. 😐 Then I talked with T before he left for work, and ended up discussing the punishment situation plus all the other things that, frankly, I blame myself for. There’s certainly a nice list 😦

The good thing is that I got P down by 10. I haven’t started reading No Cry Sleep Solution yet. I will soon. The resident manager just showed up and looked at the ceiling in here. Last night the bulb in the fixture blew, and instead of just blowing like normal, the whole circuit went. He came over to make sure it wasn’t bigger…seems 2 downstairs went too. So it must have been that the circuit overloaded because of that, not because of water. I hope. 😦 I can’t stand this place. I think I’m so depressed because of this place, so that’s why I’ve had a hard time with pretty much everything. I want to move. We should have moved a long time ago. I drafted an email to a local realtor that advertises that they do rentals, so we can look into that. I’m also going to see about the realtor who lists that house on the route that I like so much, that’s on the market. I’m also thinking about finding a way to look into another house on the route that I really like and have wanted to move into ever since I found out it was officially empty. I’d like to move into that one a lot—it’s 2 stories, I don’t know the number of bedrooms (I’d like 3), it’s got a nice big bay window on the front and what looks like a big picture window in the back (you can see through it). It’s got a little garage, that looks old but hey I don’t need much to store outside things in. It’s on a smallish lot, but at least has a backyard. I wonder about the kitchen. I’d like to see inside it. I just want out, and to get rid of stuff. That’s a good thing—I’ll be able to convince T (who just now decided he wanted a tool storage unit for his tools, which I’ve been wanting to get him for 3+ years now) to go through a lot of things. I hope. I’ll have to go through a lot. Old kid’s stuff, that kind of thing.

Well, it’s nearly time for me to go to bed. I have my work cut out for me. 😐

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