New Book Release!!! Eternal Illusion

A special surprise for today! To help out a fellow (this one published) author, there is a bit of a guest post. Without further ado:

(A ROW80 check in will come up tomorrow!)

Thanks for stopping in!

The highly anticipated return of everyone’s favorite island is FINALLY available for print and eBook!

 

Are your bags packed? You can get your ticket back to the island for only $2.99 and stay as long as you like! This sale price will only last a limited time! Don’t miss out!

 

Want a taste?

 
Chapter 1
Lost
in thought, Abe ran a loving hand over Ariana’s swelling belly, then grinned
when she stirred from sleep and blinked lazily up at him. Wrapping his mind
around that – not only had she been his wife for over three months, but was
also carrying his child – was too much of a dream come true, one he never wanted
to wake up from.
“Good
afternoon, Mrs. Cambridge. It’s fifteen after one.”
Nuzzling
closer to him, Ariana yawned and let her eyes drift shut. “Five more
minutes.”
He
snickered against her hair and then kissed her forehead. “Take all the
time you need, baby, but I have a feeling Becky and Janie will—”
Quick
and persistent tapping on the chamber door cut off his words and had him
rolling his eyes in irritation.
“—knock
on the door soon,” he finished through a clenched jaw, his mood swiftly
turning sour at the lack of private time the island’s residents allowed him to
have with his wife. “I can kill them, you know. Nobody will find their
bodies. I swear it. Did I ever tell you that I’m a shark whisperer?”
Ariana
giggled as she pushed against his body, and when he tried to grab her, she
threw a pillow in his face and scrambled out of bed.
He
fell back to his own pillow, defeated. “We are going on vacation. No cell
phones. No knocks on the door—unless it’s room service—and, best of all, no
distractions.”
Laughing
as she opened the door, Ariana greeted her friends with a hug and took the
coffee Janie held out with a sigh and a gracious smile. “I love both of
you so much.”
Abe
huffed as he glared at them. “You just saw them yesterday. And you don’t
need that caffeine; it’s bad for the baby.”
Ariana
took a long sip and winced as the heat bit her tongue. “The only thing
that’s bad for the baby is my blood pressure going up when his or her father
fusses over me too much.”
Abe
blanched, and started to throw back the comforter to go to her, but thought
better of it once he caught sight of Becky and Janie looking at him. Unlike
Ariana, he hadn’t dressed after making love the night before.
He
exhaled in relief as he studied the growing smirk on his wife’s face. She was
the only one who could, quite literally, drop him to his knees with only a few
words. He kept waiting for the spell she had him under to wear off, but with
each day that passed, he had only grown more mesmerized by her charm.
Abe
raised an eyebrow. “Come here, devil woman.”
“Abe,”
Becky said, laughing. “There’s no time—er… take all the time you need,
Your Highness,” she said quickly, when his mouth flattened into a thin
line and his teal eyes locked on her, daring her to say one… more… word.
He
would burn that damn clinic to the ground before he would allow anyone to take
even one more minute with her away from him. She already worked too many hours
as it was. It had started out being only five, but then had swiftly moved up to
six, then seven. He had drawn a line at eight, but, more times than not, Ariana
stayed at the clinic up to ten hours, even against his wishes and constant
phone calls.
He
tore his piercing eyes away from Becky and they softened as he met Ariana’s
smile.
She
set the cup down and crawled up on the mattress and into his awaiting arms. She
stared into his eyes as her fingers brushed back the hair hanging over his
ears, reminding him it was time for a trim. That would take all of fifteen
minutes, so what would he do with the other four-hundred-sixty-five minutes she
would be out of his sight?
He
had some ass-chewing to do, that’s what, and he was going to do that first.
“I’ll
be back before you know it, Abe,” she said sweetly, almost convincingly,
but he knew better; she’d been telling him that every day since she’d started
working, and it had never, ever been true.
Even
though he knew arguing would get him absolutely nowhere, he still pleaded his
case. “Stay here,” he whispered. “Take the day off. I could use
a little healing myself.” He grinned devilishly.
The
only answer he got was a small smile and a long kiss. Abe wrapped his arms
around her and pulled her across his body, rolling with her until she was lying
on her back and he was looking down at her beautiful face.
He
knew she wouldn’t concede to his wishes today, but that wouldn’t stop him from
trying. He had faith that one day she would.
“Sunset,
Ariana. Please. I have something I want to show you.”
She
laughed. “I just bet you do.”
He
tucked a strand of blond hair behind her ear and softly kissed her lips.
Lingering a breath away, he spoke so only she could hear. “It’s sort of
important and special. It’s been in the works for several years, but it’s almost
complete now. I didn’t want to mention it until Roger said you could see it. He
sent me a text last night, but you were too exhausted after work, so I didn’t
say anything. I don’t think I can keep from telling you what it is until your
next day off, so please don’t overwork yourself today, and try to get out of
there by eight.” He paused for a moment. “And eat light for supper;
I’m taking you out afterward.”
Ariana’s
eyes narrowed to thin slits, but there was amusement in them that she couldn’t
hide behind her fake anger. “You know how much I hate surprises.”
Abe
knew she could have searched his thoughts in one instant, so he quickly rifled
through his memory for the lyrics of Mary
Had A Little Lamb
, just in case. Mindreading was one witchy trait that
could be both a blessing and a curse, but thankfully Ariana tried not to use it
too often. For that, he was grateful. It was bad enough that he couldn’t keep
his hands off his wife for more than five minutes. Keeping his thoughts off her
would be downright impossible.
He kissed
her quick and moved away, so she could get up and ready for work. The quicker
she left, the quicker he could let out his aggression on someone who couldn’t
paralyze his vocal chords. “You’ll like this one. I promise it won’t
embarrass you.”
“Can
we come?” Janie asked, the petite girl nearly jumping up and down at
hearing about something new and exciting on the island.
Abe
chuckled. “Yeah, you can come. Bring someone, if you like,” he said,
knowing that Janie had been spending quite a bit of time lately with Ryan from
maintenance, and would more than likely want to bring him along. It was killing
Lance to see her with the guy, but since he had been the one who let her go,
there wasn’t a whole hell of a lot he could do about it but mope.
“Who
else is going?” Becky asked with a sneer.
Abe
shrugged nonchalantly, but he knew she was inquiring whether Will, his brother,
was going to be there, and possibly be with Katrista, the girl who had flown to
the island on the back of a minion from Hell under the orders of Apollyon, the
demon who damn near took Ariana away from him in more than one way.
Just
thinking about that night made him want to wrap Ariana in the tight cocoon of
his arms and never let her out of his sight, but that had been almost three
months ago, and they hadn’t seen or heard from the guy since his descent back
into Hell. Gloria, their personal guardian angel, was checking in on a regular
basis, but she hadn’t sensed any evil hanging around the island, either. It was
still a struggle to relax, but Abe knew how Ariana hated to be smothered, so he
forced his worry from his features, for her.
“I’m
not sure, Becky, but if you think I’m going to tell my brother he can’t go just
because you’ll be there, then you don’t know me very well.” He ignored the
hurt look in her eyes and slapped Ariana’s butt when she crawled over him to
get out of bed. He chuckled when she yelped.
After
hearing the shower come on, he looked back to the two girls standing in the
middle of his bedroom. “Would the two of you mind leaving? I’m about to go
shower with my wife, and Ariana threw my boxers across the room last night.”
He
smiled as the two girls immediately avoided eye contact, their faces turning a
bright shade of pink in embarrassment at being in the same room with their
naked king.
“Go
on. Ariana will call you when she’s ready to leave. I can’t promise you’ll be
on time for work, so you may want to leave without her.” He stopped and
huffed when they only stood there with sullen expressions. “What? She
isn’t yours; she’s mine. Go!”
Tripping
over their feet, both girls turned and ran for the door.
With
a smile on his face, Abe threw back the cover and jogged to the bathroom. He
could only see the top of Ariana’s wet head, leaned back into the steamy shower
spray, eyes closed as she basked in the warmth of the water. He tiptoed around
the tiled wall that separated the shower from the rest of the bathroom, and had
her in his arms before she even opened her eyes.
Ariana
smiled as he touched his lips to hers, and Abe noticed that he couldn’t fit his
body flush to hers any longer, not with his young growing so rapidly within her
womb.
He
ran one hand over the soft skin of her belly and pulled her mouth to his with
his other by the nape of her neck. A low moan escaped her mouth and he drank in
the ecstasy like a wino who had just found a forgotten bottle of
eighty-year-old wine in the cellar.
She
gasped for air when he released her mouth to devour her neck and that little
spot below her ear she loved for him to kiss.
“Abe,”
she panted. “I’m going to be late for work.”
An
approving growl rumbled from his chest as her hands slid down to his hips.
“Damn right, you are. I told Becky and Janie to go on without you, that
you would be there when you damn well got there.”
She
laughed against his mouth when he claimed ownership once again. “You are
such a king.”
Lowering
his head to explore more of what she had to offer him, he looked from one
tempting mound to the other, and finally decided to take the left rosy nub
between his lips and softly massage the other with his hand. Decisions,
decisions. It was a tough job being a man in love. He often thought he needed
at least one extra mouth. Wondering vaguely whether Ariana might be able to
witch it on his body, somewhere, he focused on the task in hand.
Ariana’s
lips parted, and he smiled when a rush of pleasurable sounds echoed off the
walls of the bathroom.
With
his other hand free, he ran his long fingers over the cheek of her ass, down
the back of her thigh and pulled her right knee up to his hip. He wasn’t
worried about her getting off balance and falling. He had her. He had all of
her.
His
head jerked up and he crushed his mouth on hers just as he slid through the
soft folds of her sex and into his most favorite place to be.
His
jaw clamped shut and his hand shot out to brace them against the shower wall
when her muscles tightened around his erection.
“Yeeees!”
The cry escaped her throat and her nails clawed the skin on his back, but he
pumped into her, keeping a steady rhythm and watching her expression as the
orgasm threatened to rip through her body. “Abe…” she said, winded,
and grabbed his biceps, squeezing the thick muscles and making him grin,
“I—I need…”
“I
know, baby. Just let it go.” He jerked his hand from the wall, pulling her
other leg up, and just like a pro, she hooked her ankles at the small of his back
and took all of him. His knees damn near buckled.
Aiming
to get his own release by the time Ariana’s climax was over, Abe growled and
quickened his strides. Her body quaked all around him. He was almost there. He
was there.
“Take
my vein,” Ariana whispered.
Pulling
a bit back from the rush, he blinked the water out of his eyes and looked down
at her in confusion. Sure enough, her head was tilted to the side and her wet
hair was moved away, baring her neck and that throbbing vein to him. He jerked
his head away, trying to ignore the instant bloodlust and the anger that was
quickly boiling up inside him.
“No,”
he said shortly.
“Abe,
please. You need it. I want you to.”
He
stopped moving inside her and set her feet on the wet tile. Grabbing a towel
from the hook on the wall, he threw it around his waist, tying it extra tight,
so just maybe it would cut off the circulation in his erection and deflate the
damn thing.
“Abe!
Where are you going?”
“Not
now, Ariana.” He threw open the bathroom door and walked into the bedroom,
and wasn’t a bit surprised to hear she had followed.
“What
did I do? I don’t understand why you’re acting this way. Talk to me, damn
you!” she shouted when he only stood at his closet and shoved hanger after
hanger to the right. Hell, he wasn’t even sure what he was looking for.
He
stopped and let his arm fall, but didn’t turn around. “You know how I feel
about using you as a meeker while you’re pregnant. We’ve had this discussion
before, Ariana. Hell, we’ve even fought about it a few times, but you don’t
seem to understand or maybe you just don’t care; I don’t know—”
“You
think that I don’t care about my child?” she said, and Abe turned around,
the muscles in his jaw doing the same workout they did every time their
conversation led to him feeding from her. “How can you even say
that?” she snapped. “If I felt, in any way, that you taking the
amount of blood from me that you need would hurt the baby, I wouldn’t ask you
to do it.” She pointed to her chest, and fury burned throughout Abe’s bones.
“I know it won’t hurt the baby—”
“But
I don’t!” he roared, causing her to flinch. He shook his head and reached
into the closet, grabbing a random shirt and a pair of jeans. When he looked
back at her, he was a little calmer, but not much. “I don’t know what is
good or what is bad for the baby, Ariana, but I can’t imagine taking anything
from you that the baby needs could ever be a good thing. I won’t do it.”
He
ripped the towel away, and to his delight, either the terrycloth or his pissy
mood had done the job, because Mr. Happy wasn’t so happy anymore. Without
wasting time going to the dresser for boxers, he just shoved one leg at a time
in the jeans then buttoned and zipped the fly. After throwing the shirt over
his head and pushing his arms through the armholes, Abe finally made his way to
the dresser to grab socks.
“Abe,”
Ariana whispered, but he didn’t look at her. He couldn’t look at her when he
was this mad, especially when it was her that he was mad at. “Abe, look at
me. I have to go to work, and I don’t want to leave you upset.” He still
didn’t say anything.
Abe
put his socks on and located his boots by the bar. Tying the sons of bitches
wasn’t going to happen with his hands shaking so badly, so he just shoved his
feet in, grabbed his keys from the bar and headed for the door.
“Abe!
Where are you going? The sun is out!”
“Go
to work, Ariana. I’ll see you later.”
He jerked
open the door, then slammed it shut behind him.

Interested? What? You haven’t read Eternal Island or Eternal Immortality yet? No worries! I’ve got you covered! 

 

 Eternal Island:

 
 

Eternal Immortality:

 

Eternal Illusion:

 
 
Like angels, demons, vampires, werewolves, suspense, urban fantasy and romance? Check out K. S. Haigwood’s other books.

 

Like thrillers, suspense, romance and satire? Check out Ella Medler’s other books.
 
 
Thank you for stopping in!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 


First ROW80 Check In. Slow progress is still progress, yes?

This will be my first check in while participating in ROW80.  Hey, I think I’m even going to check in on time!  Well, here goes – slow and a little bit of progress is still progress, right?
1. Writing Prompts: Haven’t trying a writing challenge prompt yet.  But I’m brainstorming some on something from the action related to #2, and I’m opening up a tab for Velvet Verbosity‘s site right now.
2. Networking: Thanks to Cindy at Here, There Be a Writer encouraging me, I joined in on the #writestuff chat last evening on Twitter.
3. Personal:    No personal journaling yet this week :-\
4. Getting my work out there: Haven’t looked anything up.
5. Editing: All old stories are still packed away in the closet.

I’ve got so many other interests and things that need done, so this is that part of the list:

6. Preparing for Missouri: Sorted one box of old bills and paperwork.  Between that and the sudden change in the weather today (it’s winter still, it getting colder shouldn’t be such a surprise.  But as I understand it, I think it was a bit of a drastic change), I think that’s the reason for my headache this afternoon/evening.
7. Read something: Haven’t picked up a book yet, but I need to pick one for my purse (which will only make it heavier.  Oh well), and one to read around the house.  I’m thinking of restarting The Elegant Universe by Brian Greene.
8. Crafting: I have but I haven’t finished WIPs.  There’s a scarf that I’m almost to the end of (Rambling, on Ravelry), a hood that I’ve just got to edge and add the button (The Canyon Cowl, probably for my daughter, also on Ravelry, but a pattern I had to buy), and lots of soap savers.
9. Tarot: Haven’t done much interaction with my deck, nor do I have the spreads I’ll use for the Valentine’s Readings I may or may not do at the store on the 12th and 13th, but I did draw the cards for the year ahead reading (using the 13 Moons spread).  I just have to interpret it.
9. Cleaning: Haven’t done any 15 minute rounds lately, but with my daughter’s friend, I did work on cleaning the living room and computer room some, which led to me sorting the box of bills, and her rearranging the living room.  I picked stuff up off the floor, she vacuumed and moved things, getting rid of a ratty chair.
DAILY – Make it to bed between 11:30 and midnight.  I’m not yet in the range yet, but I’m working on getting closer to midnight!

Goal Setting and starting out with ROW80

I really feel that I do so much better with my life when I have some sort of structure. That I hold to. The problem is, I enjoy the spontaneity of life, too. I like feeling productive – having a clean home, clean clothes (this isn’t something that really falls by the wayside terribly. Maybe I don’t do my clothes on the same day every week – a day or two variation here and there, but I’m actually really good about WASHING them, even if I’m not always that great about FOLDING them), clean dishes (not a fan of doing dishes), clean rooms, dinner every day (actually, having others help out with this was a stroke of genius – that might have been the daughter’s idea – and it’s great to see my son grow and explore ideas about dinner, even if it’s just SUPER SIMPLE things! And I do most of the work), save money, make money, write more, make more items….the list of what I’d like to do, which I don’t completely reflect as getting done (for instance, I do get dinner made somehow, clothes washed, ME washed – but I don’t write as much as I’d like or sell as much as I’d like or save money as well as I’d like), is super long.

That ^^^ is the acknowledgement of what I feel. Now I’m going to set out, with the help of my friend’s friends over at A Round of Words in 80 Days, my goals for growth and production for the rest of this round. If you’ve never heard of this before, each round consists of 80 days, starting in January, April, July and October. You state a set of goals, and report twice a week how you’ve done with that. My friend Cindy, at Here, There Be a Writer, suggested it to me several months ago, and since I need structure and accountability, I’ve decided it’s time. It’s for words/writing/creating a written piece, and that will be part of my goals – but my whole life needs some structure for a while, not just my writing, so I’m going to throw that in there, too.

So what am I going for?

First, let’s address the writing. One goal I decided on for this year is to finally get something to publishing level and submit it. I shouldn’t limit it just to my fiction, freelancing is a great way to get your name out there, so I should look into that as well. So, some sort of daily writing is mandatory. Also, I need to look or places to submit my work, and ways to find freelancing work. I have different places I like to get my prompts from, and I have novels to finish as well – there are 5 of them, now, I believe, 4 of them not even on the “stove” at the moment. I’m still working, however sporadically, on my NaNoWriMo novel. And I love the 100 Word Challenge, and it’s got a special place right here on the blog. So, writing goals:

1. Writing Prompts: These included but are not limited to: participating in the weekly 100 Word Challenge prompt AND post it, participating in the weekly Sunday Brunch Prompt on Toasted Cheese, and picking another writing prompt that I like that I have already done or another one I have found.
2. Networking: Post to a writing group or page I’ve liked, visit other people’s pages on challenges, etc.
3. Personal: Write a personal journal entry (on paper, in pen) at least twice a week.
4. Getting my work out there: Look into freelance writing sites and look into writing contests (using writing directed emails, groups, pages, friends’ posts, and cold searching for pointed jobs/genres/contests).
5. Editing: Look at old stories/poems (college and otherwise).

I’ve got so many other interests and things that need done, so this is that part of the list:

6. Preparing for Missouri: Sort old bills and paperwork.
7. Read something: I have piles of books around, so I should pick one up and read it! Reading anything is a good thing, whether it be fact or fiction about writing or the genre(s) I write or not.
8. Crafting: Finish WIPs, make spiral bracelets, make soap savers. Find a runner for Judi.
9. Tarot: Some kind of daily interaction with one of my decks of cards, whether it be a short reading, picking a card, or a longer reading; do a beginning of the year reading, using the 13 Moons reading already decided upon.
9. Cleaning: On at least one day a week (when I’m not working at the store), do 15 minute rounds of cleaning for the majority of the day (this is also partly Preparing for Missouri, as the computer room will feature whatever item I have to work on for that, but it’s also the whole house and often vacuuming).
DAILY – Make it to bed between 11:30 and midnight. This is perhaps the one thing that trips me up – I’m a night owl, I love staying up late, but the more I stay up late, the harder it is for me to do ANYTHING the next day. So my sleep schedule needs to get back on track. Then I’ll have energy to work on weight loss, which I will work harder on once the snow clears (walking on snow does not make my ankles happy).

Well, I think that’s about it for now. I need all this for the accountability.

I was able to complete the word count for my novel. The novel itself, however, is not complete! I still have a ways to go! I have pledged to edit, however. I’m not sure when, tho I’d like very much to finish. I feel like I’m floundering a bit – I’m not sure that I really have an ending in mind anymore. My daughter brought up my quandary when I told her about my novel after the month was over. What is my point to the novel? Where is the main character going, what is she trying to learn?

I can answer the second question. I see my characters as an extension of myself. I find it interesting that two of my recent characters have had amnesia, and that another is dealing with a post apocalyptic world (a story I have to sit down and flesh out), plus another had their own religious crisis (the biggest story from my college days). That reflects where I feel I’ve come out of – a place of not really remembering who I am, of being – who am I and now what? And my own explorations of religion and spirituality. Those go very deep.

On top of all this, my family and I are preparing for a very big move – a quarter of the way across the country – during the summer. To prepare for this, so I can enjoy part of my summer while still here, I have started going through things at home. I’m going to have a LOT of things to donate to charity before the time comes for us to leave.

What else is there to talk about? I’m not sure. I guess I’m going to have to start looking into prompts to get myself writing again, probably look into the things my friend Cindy is doing over at Here, There Be a Writer. :-)

Oh yes – I’m still a vegetarian. Did I mention that? Back in June I finally made the leap and decided I’d be a vegetarian, and I haven’t eaten meat (at least not on purpose – if I didn’t realize something had small bits of meat in it would be the only way I would have) since then, spitting out something if I realize after I get it that it has meat in it. I’m fascinated by a lot of foods I’ve eaten since my decision. TVP makes a great meat mimic, beans are always good (I’ve always loved beans of all kinds), I’m enjoying at least looking at boards and pins on Pinterest about vegetarian eating, and I’m experimenting when I can.

Also, I’m picking up weaving and, something I’ve been prepared for, for a while, beading. I will never be bored (even if I choose to take a break – because there’s always my FAMILY and reading!) again!

Okay, now I think that’s it!

Digging myself out isn’t really a problem.

With my novel, or with the weather, either.

I’m not sure if you’re aware, even though I know I’ve mentioned it before, but I happen to live in Western New York. And if you were anywhere near a television over the last week and a half, you’ll know that we were hit with a momentous storm last week. We didn’t get much snow – just a couple feet, compared to Buffalo’s 7 or more. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t take the opportunity to stay snuggled and warm next to my honey for the majority of that time.

The beginning of the storm coincided with our 19th wedding anniversary, so he was taking the night off anyhow. Then he took the last night of the worst of it off, and stayed home.

Over the last 3 days, we’ve had warmer temperatures and some rain, and it’s melted the majority of the snow away. It looks like a typical late March/early April day around here, with snow at the very edges of the paths of snow plows, and most of the rest of the snow melted away.

So, I ended up with 3 days off from writing, 2 more than I anticipated. At the end of that snow blow out, I made it a point to leave the house and go write, if even for a short time. I was able to get roughly 3000 words the first day after the snow storm. Then I did a massive (late night) almost 6000 words, to put me over 40K. I took a trip to Denny’s instead of Dunkin Donuts.

I set a daily word count goal of 2,500 for as many days as I could muster this few days before Thanksgiving. I’m happy to say, I have surpassed that, in part due to the 5,092 words I just belted out tonight (another late night push). It wasn’t that I wanted to write so many tonight – but when I sat down to write, despite how tired I was, I just couldn’t stop, this part of the story was wanting to get out.

Now it is once again nearly 1am. I need to get home and get back to bed!

To see how I’m doing, and a recent excerpt of my story, you can visit my author page at NaNoWriMo:

My Page

Current Word Count: 48,015

Days off – an interesting question.

I’m enjoying participating in NaNoWriMo. I’m still sticking with Blue October (which, I might point out, is heavily Christian, but I do enjoy the music) for the soundtrack for the book. Justin truly is an artist, and he speaks form his heart. So good.

So far, I’m currently 18,948 words into my novel. Today’s total following the suggested daily target, is 19,992 – I get a calendar and set it as my background picture each time I do this, so I have some inspiration. Not that I always open my computer to a clear screen, but it’s there, all the time, so I know where to go, plus that I have a goal. Something to think about when I’m not involved in a specific mass goal/movement like NaNoWriMo. Self motivation.

Anyhow. The thought I pulled up the blog post to write (I planned to write a blog post today, because I don’t want to leave my followers – *pauses and looks around to the sound of chirping* – hanging, so I’m making sure to finish off the day before I go to sleep to put one up).

Days off. I’m roughly 1000 words behind. I could feel bad about that. I could say “I’m going to rally – tomorrow, Friday, next Monday, whenever – and catch up.” Which I can do. Either one.

I’m not consistent yet in my choice. Working to stay positive, right now, is still just that – work. But work I’m enjoying.

I’ve been through a bit in the last couple years, stuff that I can’t necessarily go into – I don’t see the point, really, it acknowledges someone I don’t really want to acknowledge as much as I’m sure they’d like, and I’m currently on a track where I don’t want to look back – I want to enjoy the now and look to the future.

The normal questions run through my head with all of this, tho:

What is the goal?
Is it the journey, or the destination that’s the goal in all this?
Like a knit or crochet project…I enjoy the act of knitting and crocheting. It’s amazing watching that yarn flowing through my fingers, whether over needles or a hook. Watching the item grown – a scarf, a hat, a hood, a stuffed animal. Or the wire, now. That’s going to be fun – I took a wire wrapping class a little over a week ago, and found I had developed the talent needed to make wire wrapped jewelry over the years, playing with wire here and there. And I picked up a pattern book about a month ago that includes crocheting with wire or gold thread. Huh, what do you know?

What’s the point? If it all ends anyhow….?

Is there really something beyond? I chose to think there is, because I just can’t fathom the idea that there isn’t anything beyond more so than I can’t stand to think there is someone judging me for being perfectly human. I don’t, by the way. I don’t believe there is any more than a higher form of myself out there doing the judging. That’s not to mean there isn’t a framework of morality – just that it’s not that there’s a big bully out there judging me. It’s me. That’s really all there ever was judging me, all I’ve ever experienced. I’m the one that chooses to judge – actions of myself, and those actions of others.

I’m working hard to do more than just write, of course. I’m knitting, of course – selling at Lady of the Lake. Selling person to person. I have business cards. I have picked up custom orders. I have items I’m working on in barter. I have items I’m working on for other things – gift baskets – for the show I’m doing, and for the shop.

And trying to get out and live my life. Enjoy it. Not just sit here on my computer and watch tv like stuff. Get out and talk to people, do things, enjoy what’s going on around me.

I’ve found a great website/app for listening to podcasts. I have to give the thanks to Miguel at Aeon Byte Gnostic Radio. He posted that he had put a copy of the podcast up on there. Stitcher. And I’ve found several other stations – Atheist channels, too. Not that I’m an Atheist – I am very much a Gnostic. But, in my mind Atheists and Gnostics aren’t that far off. But I’d say – understanding comes from every direction. This one, from The Thinking Atheist (I’ve truly enjoyed his podcasts the most, other than Aeon Byte):

Interesting, as I’m listening to this podcast. I don’t consider myself an Atheist, and I still believe in a higher power. I believe there is something, I just don’t necessarily define it, but I find the myth surrounding what I’ve learned about Gnosticism to make the most sense.

But my turning point in no longer being a Christian – it came most recently, because of my second round of being a born again Christian. I was not getting a “this is how to change that” or “it’s okay for being who you are” when I had personal questions. It was always, one way or another, being turned back ‘put it in God’s/Jesus’s hands’. It was “you’re wrong for just being you.” There may be a higher power directing our path. We may choose it ourselves (I lean more that way). But there are lessons to be learned – it’s not part of some fake ultimate plan. If it’s an ultimate God, then they are short sided, not worthy of being praised, and they really messed up. Even if *I’m* the one that did. Take PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY for what you do – do not push it off onto some ultimate, higher power. YOU make those choices. Live with them. On the other side, whether you are Christian or Atheist – one way or another your “sins” are wiped away (by salvation/grace or by the fact that there’s nothing. Can’t pay or be saved from something if nothing exists). So this is the only place you have to pay for it. Deal with it.

This is just my view. I own it. I have morals – which no matter what my religious identification, will stand up to most if not all codes.

Enough of that. It’s heavy.

Enjoy Stitcher. I love it.

Have a good evening.

(Sorry for the rambling. This was more of a flow of consciousness piece than something I was really looking to put out as polished and concise.)

Day 5 and doing well.

It’s day 5 of a NaNoWriMo, and right now I feel like I’m doing really well. I’ve come up with something of a routine for my daily writing, where I get myself out of the house and go elsewhere to write. I go where my best friend works, even though she hasn’t been working while I’ve been there. My best friend works at the local Dunkin Donuts, and I buy myself a cheddar cheese twist bagel and medium hot chocolate with pumpkin. Besides liking them, (loving, in the case of the bagel) the bill also comes to $3.21, which is the major thread running through my story – it’s got details having to do with the main character’s dad, her abusive significant other, possibly when she woke up at the beginning of the novel, the accident she was in that sent her to the hospital….

I get here, order my little bit, then set myself up with my laptop, my notebook with notes, my phone close by, and a project for the moments when I have a lull in the typing. I pull up a playlist of Blue October, which is my soundtrack for this novel, and I’m on my way. I play around on Facebook and that too, but I’m working, and it feels good! I truly need to do this more often.

My daughter and I had a discussion last night about the creative process. You work and you work on it, sometimes you put working off though because there are times and many reasons you don’t want to do it – it’s great working, it’s great creating, it feels great when you’re done, but also kinda bad because you know, that high is gone, but then you also are never sure you can do as good the next time……so that’s why I’ve been putting it off for a while. The high and instant gratification is easier to achieve when knitting or crocheting than it is with writing. Then there’s the let down of knowing not everyone is going to enjoy what you write. Heck, not everyone is going to enjoy a piece of fine crafted needle work, either, but there’s a whole lot more people that enjoy those than there are that enjoy a good piece of writing. Plus there’s a ton more editing with the writing – really, all I have to do with a scarf or hat is cut off and weave in a few ends, ya know?

By the way, this week’s accompanying piece is a baby blanket in Baby Ombre, a custom piece, done in my favorite pattern, Gentle Breeze. This is the reason I will be up LATE the next couple nights, as I have to get it done by Friday, and I’d like to wash it before I bring it over to the store.

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Last bit of happy news – my current total is 9,039, which is roughly 700 more than today’s predetermined goal (8,330 is today’s suggested total goal), and I’ve done much more than the daily suggested goal of 1,667 over the last 2 days – I think yesterday I wrote almost 3,000 words, between my visit in the morning to Dunkin Donuts and last night when I sat down for a bit to write. There are many more things I need to write, for instance I need to get back into doing the 100 Word Challenge with Velvet Verbosity…but I have SO MANY things to do, I need to pace myself a little bit! And I’m chronically up late, so I sleep in late chronically in the morning.

Whatcha gonna do?

Well, right now I’m going to go home and tackle some cleaning.

So I hope the rest of you have a good day. Happy writing!