Food 4 Thought and Friday Fill-Ins 11/6/09

Breakfast
What is the last thing you watched on TV?

Before flipping through the channels and deciding to watch Ancient Discoveries on The History Channel, I was watching the end of Anderson Cooper 360 on CNN.

Lunch
Do you speak more than one language?

Ha. Ha ha ha. I took 4 years of French in high school, but can I speak it? Fluently? In a conversation? NO!

Dinner
What are your favorite websites to visit?

Right now, the 3 main websites that are CONSTANTLY open in my web browser are

1. Gmail. Love it!
2. NaNoWriMo – so I can keep my word count updated (right now I’m up to 5,115)
3. Facebook – so I can keep my games from losing. I play Cafe World, Rollercoaster Kingdom, Mafia Wars, Farm Town and Farmville. I also dabble in Hatchlings, Sorority Life, Island Paradise, Treasure Mania, Tetris, and Bejeweled Blitz.

Another place I like to visit a few times a week:

Bloglines – I have dozens of blogs I look at on there. The craft ones are the ones I like to look at the most often

Midnight Snack
You have won a prize. The prize has two options, and you can choose either (but not both). The first option is a year in Europe with a monthly stipend of $2,000. The second option is ten minutes on the moon. Which do you choose and why?

I’d pick 10 minutes on the moon, because there is no way I’d be able to make ends meet in France, which is where I’d like to spend the majority of my time in Europe, on just $2,000. Assuming that’s $2,000 American, then it’s only about $1,350 Euro, and it’s impossible to find a hotel and be able to EAT, let alone see any of the sites, on that much. Or that little.

Recipe of the Week(instead of your recipe for life, what is it just for this week?)

Faking it until I make it.

1. Plans and schedules are great and have their place, but I also really enjoy being flexible and spontanious .

2. I’m happy when things run smoothly and everyone agrees. You’re right, I’m often disappointed .

3. The last thing I drank was water .

4. One of the most valuable things in my life is my family—my husband, my daughter and my son .

5. I like just cheese and pepperoni on my pizza.

6. Dear November, we’ve had our adventures, haven’t we? Let’s celebrate one more year (on the 18th!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to writing and a review for a test (already been to both), tomorrow my plans include writing, writing, writing, cleaning, more writing, more cleaning, more writing—making most of my way to the 10,000 words I’m supposed to be at— and Sunday, I want to go to church, help my dad with the leaves (for the second week in a row, LOL!), and more writing!

Windy (well, really, rainy…) Wednesday.

My day started with my daughter not feeling well. She got to stay home. I got to go to school. Which is fine, because I enjoyed it. As always, it was a good day.

I also managed to do some writing. I’m 900+ words into the novel. I already had 4 pages written, from back when I first started the story.

And I started finding the quotes for the next American Constitutional Law class. This next test looks like it’s going to be better because I’m getting time to study before and we’re into the material more, having already gone through this once.

I found that there’s a knitting group that meets at the store I have items at for consignment. I went to see if anything had sold (no, but I also asked if he was going to do the Farmer’s Market in the winter like last year, and he said yes and would keep me informed), and there they were sitting there. I had a project in the car (one of the pairs of socks I’m working on) and so I grabbed it and sat for a while. I’ve got a class when they meet, next semester, but I’ll definitely return next week and when I can until next semester. What wonderful yarns some ladies had brought back from an excursion to Connecticut (some convention or something).

Almost time to get P.

Wordless Wednesday – He’s some kinda storm, that’s for sure!

When my son was asked what he wanted to be, this is what he said (this is the best I could do to fulfill his wishes!):

Guess what it is?

What a nice day, and it’s a Monday?

Yup, today’s been a good day. And it’s even Monday. I was really productive today. I think it started when we helped my dad do leaves on Sunday. That actually felt good. We did windows too.

You’re going to have to forgive me, I started this in the evening but ended up working on my take home test (finishing it…I did start it last week) until 2 am, because I ended up talking to my sister-in-law for nearly an hour about our husbands, learning things I had wondered about and learning I’m not alone in the world of T and T2 (I’ve used that for my BIL before ).

Anyhow, what I’ve done today—made a REAL dinner (pork enchiladas, with peppers), picked up all the clothes in the house (that I have control over), washed was what in the washer, transferred it to the dryer, then washed a load of T’s shirts and hung them up on the rack in the washroom, and then washed yet another load, this time of his uniforms. Collected garbage, walked to the Park and Ride instead of taking the bus after class, and scrubbed one of the walls in the bathroom, posted D’s old bikes on Freecycle (and had who I WANTED come and pick the bikes and P’s trike up), reposted about the treadmill (and had a bite), and posted D’s old clothes on Freecycle too and (of course) had several bites. It sucks when you get more than one bite, and half way down your list resides the person you actually want to get the clothes This time it’s a guy who says he has 3 girls and needs the clothes.

And signed up for NaNoWriMo. Do I need to add more things? I just need, now, to figure out what to write about. Would it be bad to work on the Why, AZ book now?

100 Word Challenge – Falter

Wow, this was quick. I don’t even have the take home test for Ethics done! Enjoy (no real commentary for this one). If you want to join in, visit Velvet Verbosity

His love and protection of his family had been a point of pride, and he always smiled when he thought of his success at those jobs.

When he held the birth certificate in his hands and knew the truth, his world fell around him, and the pride and joy in his heart faltered.

He’s back to face his past.

Watching her machine breathe for an hour, her face a mask of deep set sorrow and pain, her youth and sweetness and vibrancy are a distance memory. He wonders at his role in this.

Now he needs to find his sons.

Still trying to work through it all

Yup, I’m still working on figuring this getting out of this apartment thing. Most of the day I contemplated moving into my classmate’s apartment when she leaves, but I haven’t made that phone call yet. What phone call I did do was calling a Realty Management Company that my upstairs neighbor told me about, that she had actually used to get this place. I’m going to stop over there sometime soon (hopefully tomorrow between classes) and check it out, plus maybe a couple others.

My day went pretty well otherwise. My classes were interesting, and I even spoke up with my own views in my Intro class. The Judicial Conference (and especially the professor) in my American Constitutional Law class this morning was good for a few laughs.

I finally folded all those clothes that have been sitting in the washroom—washed, in baskets—this afternoon after I came home. Now P’s drawers are stocked with pants (because yesterday around the time I did the rug, I also sorted through our bedroom—no, that was the day before—and the boxes I had with his extra/winter clothes in, now one of those boxes has his shorts and sleeveless shirts in it) and shirts. I also went through the one cupboard in the kitchen that wasn’t closing because of all the stuff in it. P had commented on it the other day—I don’t remember what, but I told him it wouldn’t close because mommy has to sort through it. So she did. When I did our room, I also sorted my clothes and have a nice size box of clothes to donate. I’ve got to go through the trunk of the car sometime soon, hopefully when it’s not raining out…LOL!

Something else I’m proud of—I think I have my entry of the most recent word for VV’s 100 Word Challenge already written! That feels kinda good—now I just have to sit down and really work on the take home test for my Ethics class. Due to the democratic process, the due date for that was pushed back. Now it’s due on Tuesday. I’ve poked at it, and basically have what I want to put down, I just have to flesh it out.

I have at least 4 inches worth of the sock done. I work on it mostly in between taking notes in class, LOL!

Okay, I’ve got to go to bed, so I can get up tomorrow and start this all over.

I’ve got to measure that window, too, so I know how big of a window to get.

Take care

Trying to keep up with it.

(Note to self: don’t use Quick Press if you’re essentially going to be writing a full length post. It doesn’t save for you, and if you mess up with your control commands because it’s dark where you are and you don’t have your glasses on, it will wipe out all your work.)

You can tell I’m feeling better. I’ve started to do more than just walk around in a funk—I’ve actually done some cleaning around the house. I vacuumed, I’m keeping the floor fairly well picked up, and I’m keeping most garbage (especially kitchen garbage) contained. Now if I can just find us a new place. Oh yeah, and I’m posting here. Har har…

I had seen a commercial for a Rug Stick on tv the other day, and checked out if they had them and how much at the store the other day. They cost $13 a piece. I decided instead to get a can of Foaming High Traffic Carpet Cleaner instead…the generic is just $3. So I took to the carpet with it this afternoon between classes. It’s fumes gave me a bit of a headache, so I’m going to try a homemade cleaner instead (I haven’t made homemade laundry detergent lately, the bucket and the ingredients have been sitting on my kitchen counter for weeks, probably a good couple of months!). It worked pretty well, and instead of the apparatus of the Rug Stick, I just used the scrub brush part of my mop to work it into the carpet (not a damp one like the can said).

Also, I went to the Career Development Office before classes and made an appointment. I need to start working on getting me an internship, and I need to work on my resume and interviewing skills. I knew one thing I wanted when I started with this major was to get an internship. One way or another, they are very helpful—my internship at the Seneca Library is my one bit of experience working in a library, and at least I have that!

VV finally has a new word up, I’m going to have to start working on that, plus the take home midterm for my Ethics class. T joined me in there today because D went to a friend’s house (and thankfully seems to have stayed there the whole time! I was worried, and do you really blame me?).

I have a sock on the needles. From my original Learn to Knit Socks book. I’m going to have to dig out some different yarn to work with Socks A La Carte. I don’t want to go to bed now, I’d rather stay up and work on some craft. But it’s bed time. So I guess that’s where I’m going to go. Plus, the battery is going to run out on me here soon, so I might as well go

My Weekend.

Well, it didn’t start pretty. I was going to write a post all about Saturday and some of Friday (though right now I can’t remember for the life of me what it is about Friday I wanted to talk about, other than the fact that I was nearly to tears that day too.). I’ve continued to feel down, up until yesterday at and after church.

I found myself having difficulty not crying at church. I didn’t hardly sing at all (that’s at least one blessing, ha ha!), and I was wiping my eyes here and there. It was by the third song (I think.), “Healing Rain”, that I just sorta gave up a bit and opened my heart to God to deal with. I definitely handed it all over to Him. I felt a bit better by the end of service.

Then T and I were outside playing with P, after D and her friend went for a walk. We went out front, I don’t remember exactly why, and were puttering around. P found a Monarch butterfly whose one wing was tore, and we held him for a bit (I’m not at all sure where he ended up going, if someone put him down someplace or something), then T and I looked up and saw a rainbow. Then we saw another—and pretty soon was saw a total of five. Yes, FIVE. And it really brightened up my mood. Why?

Well, I don’t know how well you know the story of Noah and the Flood, but after the flood, God sent a rainbow to Noah as a sign of His covenant that He will never again bring a flood. (If you want an exact quote of the passage, you can go here.) To me it said there is hope. When we’re done with all this garbage, our blessings may abound. If nothing else…one day things will be better. And that really lifted my spirits.

I have to start thinking about Christmas. I’m thinking scarves for most people this year. Maybe not my mom, or T, but definitely my BIL (orange and blue, of course) and P (orange and blue too, LOL!) and D (black, I should have some around), and my sister (I have just the yarn, it’ll be different), and maybe a few other people (not saying who ). I’m working on a pattern I found looking through my blog, for Mittens on Two Needles (I’m doing it with a solid color. No reason to limit one’s self!). I’m wondering if this is the pattern (or sets of patterns) close to what my grandma used to use. I don’t know the last time I’ve seen mittens com from her. Or sweaters. She’s made my mom quite a few LARGE ones, one of which my mom handed down to me just last week. It’s a green one. And to my surprise, there are some ends towards the bottom of the sweater that are woven in! I think it’s one of the first few ends I’ve found in my grandma’s work! And that says a lot because I’ve seen a LOT of my grandma’s work. I’ve always wondered how she wove them in so well. I also wonder, now that I think about it, if it’s one of the last of the sweaters my grandma made. But, I think I know what I’ll make for my mom and dad (actually, my dad might get another nice thick scarf too…but no scarf for mom, I only make her what she requests because I usually miss the mark if I don’t! LOL!). My mom is half Swedish, and she loves her some Limpa Bread. So, I was looking at my Bloglines blog reader, and what should I find, but a Limpa Bread recipe! PEEEEEEEEERFECT!!!!

Now, it’s numb…

The way I feel at least. And a bit tired. And I’ve had a headache just over my left eye for most of the last 24+ hours. The only time it goes away is if I take Ibuprofen. Which I do every time I realize it hurts.

The landlord was here, he just didn’t come inside. I don’t know whether he intended to or not. I guess he was just mainly taking care of that heater upstairs—he’s been supposed to be replacing it since last year, I guess that’s what he was doing.

We went to look at the apartment that sorta really spurred me along to looking for a place. It’s my friend’s apartment, from my American Constitutional Law class—with talking to her, I decided it was time to really look at Student Rentals for possibilities. We have an appointment to look at another place, this one near the fire hall, on Saturday. I’m not sure if I would be happy so close to the fire hall, but it’s $495, where as my friend’s landlord would be charging $600. I don’t think it’s really worth that. Maybe the $500 she’s paying, but not really $600. And how would we be able to swing that? I don’t know. I kinda liked her apartment. It did have some sorta nice bedrooms. I’m sick of rugs though. And other than the bathroom and the kitchen, it was all rug. I liked the living room, it was kinda big, and the room off it. I can imagine how we’d situate things if we were to live there—some storage up in the closets, at least the one we’d use as P’s room. I’m not sure where the “garage” stuff would go, other than either at my dad’s or in a storage place. That living room is pretty much big enough that we could keep P’s toys, that and the computer room. I’d probably still feel stuffed. But we’d be off a main highway.

Speaking of my parents’ place though—my dad would be willing to let us take over the payments on their house. It would have to be next month. And dad would have to find himself a place. And we’d have to weed a lot of stuff from both places. But I’d have that garage to store stuff in, even if just for a little bit. D wouldn’t be crazy about the idea, she wants to stay here in town. I’d like to, too, it would be easier in some ways on the pocket book.

My sister also said she’d ask her landlord if he has any places down here. That might be nice, who knows?

But, yeah, other than that headache, now I just feel numb. I’m kinda sad, because I was thinking earlier that the only area I feel successful in is school. I told my mom that, and she said “yeah, because it’s the only thing you can control.” That and my writing…it always gets good reviews Now if only I could SUBMIT stuff.

And when I was walking by the day care director’s office door on my way to my second class today (if I go up the elevator just outside that door, it comes right on the classroom for my Ethics class), I overheard her talking to someone on the phone. That she told she’s going to be at a conference for the next 2 days, but she’d give them her cell phone so they could talk about “Allison”. It made me wonder. Should I worry? Are there other Allison’s she’d be talking about? I think I might have seen one volunteer whose name is Allison, and she could always be giving a reference….but it still makes me wonder.

I just feel empty. Numb. Lost. Worried. Responsible. Sad.

I want out of here so bad. And I feel like we’re in this big hole, and I’m the only one who thinks there’s a problem with that fact, I’m the only one who wants to get out, and I’m the only one who thinks we should do something about it.

So tired…..

Excuse me while I scream.

This is the last straw. One way or another, we HAVE to be out of here, and it might mean that we’re evicted. Because the landlord decides NOW to take care of his house. Because he wants to sell it and soak it for all the money he can get.

I just want out of here. I hate that it’s coming to this.

I felt like shit all day. I felt just fine up until I took my vitamin, on an empty stomach. The rest of the day, I felt horrible.

And I still want to scream. Over and over and over again until I’m hoarse or my throat bleeds or I die. I want to be done with this place. I want my family to listen to me, I want to be somewhere better, and I can’t WAIT to get out of here.

My landlord will not get another penny from me. Nothing. He doesn’t deserve it. He hasn’t taken care of the ceiling in our computer room, and now it’s MY fault, because when HE finally decides to take care of it, I’m finally going back to school.

So I want to scream and cry, and get myself out of this. I wish we could buy our own home. That would make me happier.

I feel like a complete and total loser.

Don’t pity me or feel sorry for me, though.

Just pray that we can figure this out.

I want to scream so bad.