But that’s not to say that my 2011 didn’t end up amazing. In a lot of ways, I think I grew last year. For one, losing mom meant that I was able to relax some and just be ME finally. Make my own decisions – because there are a lot of places my dad and I agree – do my own things.

The biggest, most interesting new thing in my life is that I joined the Occupy Movement. That’s right, we have our own little group of Occupy members/supporters right here in our little village of Fredonia. If you want to check us out, go to OccupyFredonia.org. We only bodily occupied the town square for 2 weeks, as the end of the semester was quickly coming and many of our members are college students, but we have big plans for educating the masses, as it goes. Our 2 weeks of intense, daily, 24 hour occupation was enlightening, exciting, sometimes slow, but always interesting. I would have loved to have spent every moment there, but the problem with being part of the 99% is that many of us have jobs or family members who have jobs that pay the bills and that we can’t let go of, or children as well whom we have to take care of. The most interesting day – after the weekend filled with a march to campus and a rally (which, OMG, I actually SPOKE at. Click on the link. It directs you to the video, on YouTube, produced by a local film company, of the rally. I’m towards the end. Only about 30 seconds of my actual speech, but it proves I WILL get up in front of people and talk! Once in a while.). If you want a different look at our occupation, you can also look at the Raphy Report’s video on us as well. The college paper has been very kind to us, including an article that I was quoted in for the rally and the march; the Observer not so much – but, hey, no matter what they said, I got my picture in the paper, right?

But the best part of the Occupy movement: meeting the new people I have, because the hearts and minds of these people are SIMPLY AMAZING; and getting to know those I had known before better. The core people are just amazing. Further expounding on Occupy will have to be set aside for another time; I just can’t tell you how blessed I feel to be connected to these amazing people – and not just the members of my local Occupy, but to the movement as a whole.

I have goals, still. I’ve got plans. I know 2012 is going to be simply amazing. I’ve posted goals here before, which I didn’t always live up to. I know I’ve got the ability to help birth my own amazing dreams. I believe there’s something here, in the movement, in each of us, the evolution of human kind, that’s going to allow all our dreams to come true and is gonna be simply amazing.

My goals, my biggest dreams:

Publishing a fiction and non-fiction (freelancing of some kind) work
Losing weight, getting health together (reading up on and understanding PCOS)
Getting out of this apartment

Maybe get a job in a library, too….but, I’ve already started the lists of what I have to do to achieve my goals. That’s for me to know, not you

Best of luck for your new year Last thing to leave you with, a short video of one of my favorite parts of everyday Occupying, often just on the weekends, but it’s a sound I will now forever identify with the movement and our time in the Commons:

(Is it just me, or do I use “Simply Amazing” too much?)

But it’s not as if I’m not busy.  I’m still working on shawls from the Knitted Lace pattern book, and this year I decided to try container gardening again.  My favorite plants are the ones out back, which include several pepper plants (green ones, but orange and yellow too, plus a red one, which are my favorite kind).  Here’s that sweet trio:

Cucumbers, Peppers and Zucchini (if I'm lucky)

That’s at their beginning.  They are getting bigger:

Are they much better?

But the real reason I do container gardening is my past success with tomatoes.  This year I decided to do those with the Topsy Turvy planter.  I was going to go with 2, but only managed to get 1 finished and my strawberry planter (omg you need 15[!] for that – I don’t recall seeing THAT on the box) with the energy and time I had.  The other one wilted, but I have it for next year!

Tomato plant in Topsy Turvy outside my front door.

My favorite tomatoes on this plant so far have got to be the ones on the very bottom:

My Favorite Tomatoes on the plant.

These are my strawberries.  I suck at making sure to water them—but by strange coincidence have been able to set up a method to make sure I have a certain amount of water that I try to bring out twice a day.  The plants in back, unfortunately, still aren’t so lucky.  :-/ :

Recuperating Strawberries

I’ve also played around with my sewing machine & fabric, with a pattern completely off the top of my head – it was a prepared fabric, the kind WalMart’s been selling with the…whatcha call it?…not ruffling, but the fabric’s all sinched up for a bodice.  Of course it was ladybug fabric that caught my eye, and I know both my co-designers were with me with the hubs there & my mom in spirit, almost talking in my head.  The rest was my idea-the panel I had to put in the back because it was a remanent and there wasn’t enough to go all the way around, with matching straps.  I still have to figure those out so they lay flat & cover my bra:

Freeform Ladybug Shirt

Better Look at Shirt Fabric

There is other fabric I like at the store, long enough to be a dress.  It would end up being as much as a store bought dress, but it would be all my work.

I need to get back into the swing of writing, but I am doing better cleaning (somewhat).

Wish my luck at getting back on here, and especially getting back to writing.  It really is troublesome—my laptop has decided to quit working all together again, and while my hubby recently bought a new computer, it’s because he bought it to be part of the media center he’s setting up around his awesome 3D big screen tv.  So everyone is using it—mostly for the pS3, but also for regular television, the Wii and for all 4 of us to have access to the computer.  UGH!

However, I am here. I CAN remain consistent with something, and I WILL prove it to you.

For instance, the girls in my Girl Scout troop are getting into doing charity walks (with my daughter, that’s more “being forced by mommy”, but who is counting? It’s a good program, good for her, and she needs the stability. Though there is some of that….we won’t go into it.). Last year they did a local one, the Laurel Run, in July. Myself and one of the other troop leaders/mothers told the girls we’d join them this year. We have just over 9 week (9 1/2, roughly) to train for this—both of us have downloaded the Couch to 5K app, and we should both be done with Week 1 Day 2.

It feels good to be exercising again! I started last week. In part it was to “stomp out” some frustration on a personal on-going issue, but also it was finally time to start this training. And so I did, last Wednesday. I didn’t start with the C25K app though. I started by taking a walk first. Several. To get my stamina up, or at least make sure I didn’t get beat up by hitting the ground running without my body being used to moving. So I went for nearly a week of walks—and it’s a good thing I did! Because that first day, where I walked 2 miles, I felt like SHIT (sorry, but who really said this was a family friendly site? Not me!), and I hurt. But by Sunday (Mother’s Day, where I went walking with my whole family), I was feeling GOOD when I walked, and especially after. I was motivated to start the C25K app when the other mother/troop leader started hers, on Monday. Gotta catch up. I’m competitive, sometimes.

Okay, and I have to be honest. Half of why I started when I did with the walking was so I can have the energy to clean this place, and not feel half asleep all the time. Because energy begets energy. Now to be motivated and want to change how the place looks. Hell, I just want to change the place!

Now the only thing I’ve got to do is figure out what my weight is. Today I plan on going up to dialysis (first time I’ll have been there since mom passed) and get my ass weighed so I know where I’m starting from.

What I’m excited about, right now, is that I found a great website where I can log my workouts, see the changes in fitness, improvements in time and what have you—and, I just discovered today, log in all those things that I would keep track of on the Weight Watchers site when I was doing it—food, water intake, etc. I already knew weight was included in your profile, but this makes me happy. The site is MapMyFitness—I was looking for something I could map my routes with, to come up with ideas of where to go, etc, and found this. It’s not just for walking or routes, either. I LOVE the site and the app, though my GPS will give me fits—but that’s okay. Once I’ve completed a workout, I can come home and edit that workout on the site, so it more accurately approximates the actual workout!

And I’ve called for the follow up appointment for the GI scope. That’s one the 1st. I also have a general doctor’s appointment on the 31st, and I have to make a gynecologist appointment as well. That may be Part 2. I know I’m not done, either with reporting my fitness progress or with figuring out my health problems

I just know I’m not crazy

Even though she was pale, bathed in the light from over her hospital bed, Sheila took Lee’s breath away. Through all her love, loss and sacrifice, the years had still been kind to her.
Out walking after she fell asleep, Lee found Phillip weeping in the waiting room. Their talk made Lee wish he had deserted like he had planned their last night together while he watched her sleep, bathed in moonlight. Then he could have gotten the best years of her life instead. Phillip was blind to her beauty.
“She’s asking for you.” The nurse said from behind Lee.

Maybe my next post will make up for it. At least I’ll be posting enough posts to fill in the number, eh? Not a lot to say today, sorry!

• Parenting – “maybe” is a tool I often use to get someone off my back
• Goals & plans – when I make them, considering the current results, I should say “maybe I’m gonna” instead of my current “I’m gonna”. Things all too often end up that way (who wants to lay odds that that applies right down to these plans?) – this could maybe include a list of future life ideas. And updates from other posts (“maybe”, if I can manage it…)
• My health – still trying to figure out what I have, whether it’s just PCOS or maybe more.
• 100 word esque (or, if it’s been used already, a resurrection thereof.)
• Mother’s Day and Maybe – special feature, where I will discuss my views on my relationship with my mom and how “maybe” relates specifically to this Mother’s Day. This has partly been coming since she passed. :*(
• Knitting projects – this applies …for there is 1 project that is giving me a hard time, and each time I restart it, I say “maybe this time I will finish this!” There are lessons learned w/each mistake & each new project.
• Writing – what am I doing? What am I planning? What do I have to catch up on? Maybe.

If you have more ideas, send ‘em over!

(started on my phone, transferred and edited on my laptop)

Lee sat down on the bed next to her, their hands in his lap. The years between this and the first moment Sheila knew she was in love with him fell away.

“I said the last night we were together, no distance can separate us.” He placed his hand on his heart. “Whether I was fighting in the rice fields in Vietnam, the VietCong all around; at college or sitting in a courtroom, you never left my mind. I’ve always loved you.”
This isn’t the end, it’s the beginning.

Bold for stuff you’ve done, italics for stuff you plan to do one day, and normal for stuff you’re not planning on doing.

Afghan/Blanket (baby)
I-cord
Garter stitch
Knitting with metal wire
Shawl (trying to complete one right now. GARRR!)
Stockinette stitch
Socks: top-down
Socks: toe-up
Knitting with camel yarn (?)
Mittens: Cuff-up
Mittens: Tip-down
Hat
Knitting with silk
Moebius band knitting (?)
Participating in a KAL
Sweater
Drop stitch patterns (scarf once)
Knitting with recycled/secondhand yarn (only all the time!!!)
Slip stitch patterns
Knitting with banana fiber yarn
Domino knitting (modular knitting)
Twisted stitch patterns
Knitting with bamboo yarn
Two end knitting
Charity knitting (only all the time!)
Knitting with soy yarn
Cardigan
Toy/doll clothing
Knitting with circular needles
Knitting with your own handspun yarn
Slippers
Graffiti knitting (knitting items on, or to be left on the street) (MAYBE)
Continental knitting
Designing knitted garments
Cable stitch patterns (incl. Aran)
Lace patterns
Publishing a knitting book
Scarf
American/English knitting (as opposed to continental)
Knitting to make money
Button holes
Knitting with alpaca
Fair Isle knitting
Norwegian knitting
Dying with plant colors
Knitting items for a wedding
Household items (dishcloths, washcloths, tea cozies…)
Knitting socks (or other small tubular items) on two circulars (okay, 4, but it’s the same thing!)
Olympic knitting
Knitting with someone else’s handspun yarn
Knitting with DPNs
Holiday related knitting
Teaching someone to knit (was originally “a male” but I agree, it’s sexist, and since I plan on eventually teaching SOMEONE, then yeah…)
Bobbles
Knitting for a living
Knitting with cotton
Knitting smocking
Dying yarn
Steeks
Knitting art
Fulling/felting
Knitting with wool
Textured knitting
Kitchener BO
Purses/bags
Knitting with beads
Swatching
Long Tail CO
Entrelac
Knitting and purling backwards
Machine knitting
Knitting with self-patterning/self-striping/variegating yarn
Stuffed toys
Baby items
Knitting with cashmere (would be nice!)
Darning
Jewelry
Knitting with synthetic yarn
Writing a pattern
Gloves
Intarsia
Knitting with linen
Knitting for preemies
Tubular CO
Freeform knitting
Short rows
Cuffs/fingerless mitts/arm warmers
Pillows
Knitting a pattern from an online knitting magazine
Rug
Knitting on a loom
Thrummed knitting
Knitting a gift
Knitting for pets
Shrug/bolero/poncho
Knitting with dog/cat hair
Hair accessories
Knitting in public (ONLY ALL THE TIME!!!)

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, this is another piece in the puzzle that is the Clifton Saga. I’ve known who was whose the whole time, and I would think if you remember (or read) back, you should know as well.

But you could just guess, too.

Here’s my entry for the most recent word for the 100 Word Challenge at Velvet Verbosity‘s site. Enjoy!

Sick as she was, she wasn’t sure if she’d be heard. But it was time.
Moments after she realized Lee was there, Philip stepped around him. Now they stood at the foot of her bed, staring each other down.
“You—“ Philip said, his finger in Lee’s face.
“Don’t think you’re innocent,” Lee’s clenched fist barely shook at his side.
“No,” Sheila whispered. Both faced her, a mixture of emotions on their faces. “It’s my fault.”
“But—“ they both started. Sheila put up her hand.
“You’re right. He’s yours,” she pointed at one, “not yours,” and then the other.

(Maybe this will break the dam that is holding back writing for that contest….geez!)